Catching Air

It’s Friday afternoon, and I’m just walking out of my Living With Life Threatening Illness class. I love being in proximity of people who care about other people. Those are great people. I’ve ended today and the week feeling lighter. I feel joyful. I’m walking across the common area toward the catwalk. I look up at the mist in the trees from under my umbrella, and it’s not raining. It’s just beautiful.

I take a deep breath. This week was a long week. We covered a lot of material. We’ll be taking another test in about another week. That test will cover all of the material from this block, and 27% of it will be from the previous two blocks or material - chemistry, biochemistry and that sort of thing.

I feel like my attitude improved this week. After not having done well on the last test, I just want to do better. I think the conversation with Dr. O yesterday was helpful. She tends to lift my spirits. She is a transparent person, I think. I really don't feel like she holds things back or filters her speech beyond what she has taught herself is allowable (professionally and socially) over the years. I like that. I remember years ago being told I shouldn’t let other people know what I think. God forbid I should ever write it down.

Transparency as a doctor is an important quality, I think. Seems as though most of us are on a covert op to not allow others to know what we are thinking, or to know what we know or don’t know, or to protect our territory and reputations. And, I don’t think we can ever truly care for others when we don't let go of those things. - There will be challenges. There will be paradigm shifts. I came here to turn my world upside down, to ripen fruit, and to make every day count. Once you’re here, that’s pretty much unavoidable… I have to laugh.

It’s been a good week.