Monday, July 18, 2011

An ending

Thought I would get the week started with a bit of catch up. Am beginning to get back on track after a setback. I mention a personal issue here simply because it occurs frequently in the lives of medical students and want folks to be aware of its possible impact on them. After much discussion and heartfelt sharing over the last year or two, my wife and I have decided that we will go ahead and be divorced this summer. We had been advised by our counselor last summer that we were probably not well-suited for one another and that we should seriously consider it. I had taken a year off from school hoping that we might repair and solidify the relationship (among other things), but we have not succeeded. We are in a great deal of pain over it, but are convinced it is for the better. Ours is less a product of med school than other influences, but the stress and strain of my schooling has certainly been a factor in our decision. Talking with other married students, I have heard many stories describing the challenges of maintaining a good relationship while enduring the pressures of the program. My best suggestion is simply to try to maintain perspective, rely on good support groups, find them if you have none, and love one another as best you can. If you have children, all the more, but I don’t need to tell you that. If you are both strong and willing to sacrifice for the long term goals of both marriage and doctorhood, I think you will be able to come up with creative methods of staying together. I wish you well if you are in that situation.