Christmas Thanks

Our lives consist of the relationships we have with one another.

Relationships by definition, I suppose, are described by the way we share things, the way we give to one another and accept things from one another. That’s how we connect. I am convinced that our lives will be measured in the sacrifices we have made for one another. To that end I am certainly thankful for where I am right now. I’ve been given much more than most.

One of my best gifts is a wonderful wife with a huge heart. She pours herself out for her children and friends, for the kids she teaches, and for me. There is a challenge with big hearts, however. They are like the large vase in the middle of the table that is easily bumped by the careless, or easily stolen by the greedy. I think most of us tend to shrink our hearts down, so they are more manageable and less fragile. We try to fit them into our chests in order to keep them well-protected. Deep inside our rib cages. Closely guarded. So, I am thankful for Hillary’s example. Lots of folks have bumped her carelessly (myself included) or intentionally taken advantage of her due to their perceived need. But, she continues to love and to be a reminder that love must be what we are made of. I hate to think of where I would be without her presence.

Unfortunately, I haven’t had much time to share with her, lately. Or with Katy. But I’m reminded of the wonderful experiences we have had together. Trips we’ve taken across the country and to beautiful places. Shared moments are the stuff of life. Even the time I had with her sons. Much of it was hard. Some of it I wish I could do over. But, some of that time was pretty darn good, and I hope I made a difference for them. Indeed, we all illustrate our lives with the brushes we choose to paint with. I hope mine can be love rather than hate, compassion rather than coldness, and joy rather than misery. I hope I add color while I’m here.

Caring for others at the most basic levels has been a humbling wonder, and I am constantly learning how to turn myself upside down and give away the things that are most precious to me. I’m reminded of parents and friends, brothers and in-laws. I entrust them to their choices and to the creator that guides them. Before you misjudge me, however, know that I am no saint. I have to confess I’m not built this way. It’s hard for me to always be a nice guy (which is why some of you have noticed I am not…). Maybe that concept resonates with some of you folks, too. Truth is, I really have to work at it. I need reminders from the good people around me. I’m surely grateful for them. There I am being thankful again.

Of course, I’m thankful for the opportunity to go to this medical school. I fall somewhere around the 99.95th percentile when it comes to age. Way out to the right on the curve. Out of over 18,000 folks I started with, you could probably count students my age or older on both hands. I’m very blessed, very fortunate. I truly hope this will be another way for me to really learn to give away both the parts of me that I already have and those I am able to create anew. Hopefully, I can leverage that capacity to create a greater effect.

It’s been quite a year. Wishing you all the best you can be and all the joy you can know.