Events

It seems I have finally begun to settle into the new place and establish a routine I can live with. I am getting rid of things I don't need and accumulating those things that I do. The initial rush of school is over and folks have found friendship circles and comfort zones where they might operate. I listened to some first-year students talking last night and heard one say how exhausted she was. I didn't mention how far she had to go before she would be able to rest. It seemed as though it might have been too hard for her to hear. Will try to encourage her when I see her.

It looks like I will be able to volunteer at one of the local clinics. I will be able to practice my history-taking and exam skills there. Also a good chance to learn how to present patient info to doctors - something I haven't done before. Will use it as my PCM course until I start that back up in December.

I am feeling very much that this is where I belong and where I must concentrate all of my efforts. I have been allowing too many other things in life to distract me from this task. Easy to do for anyone and more so for an old guy with so many memories dancing around in his head. - I have a sense that I will be experiencing a major change in the next few months and then over the following year. Some sort of a renewing or reestablishing of an original position. Something special. Am curious as to what it might entail. - Of course, I watch my classmates being changed by the experience, and I wonder how aware they are of what they are becoming. I wonder if they understand the power of this institution to change them. I wonder how much they give themselves over to it and how much they are convinced they are doing on their own. I wonder these things for myself as well.

Sent a few of my poems off to a contest for review. Will be nice to have someone read them that may appreciate them. Might get some feedback.

Time to do some reading.

I blog, ergo…

Sharing ideas in a public venue allows for a proper vetting of ideas and prevents sidetracking as others help us avoid pitfalls in our thinking. All of the other people in the room may be incorrect at times, but not often. We just don’t have access to that type of clarity. We are mostly only able to think in a linear fashion and must spend at least some effort organizing any random genius ideas that may flit and bounce through our awareness. Writing here, then keeps me honest above all other goals. Indeed, it protects me from trundling down trails that will get me nowhere. It forces me to assign an application and good reason to my descriptions and discussions. It’s good to have a point, I think.

So… my point is to have a point. I like to remind myself of why I am in medical school, why it matters to me, what goals I might achieve, and how I might become better at achieving those goals. From a larger perspective, honest introspection and evaluation of ourselves - our actions, our motives, our methods – on a regular basis and stratified in some way seems to make a significant difference. These activities might be a weekly consideration of performance, a monthly or project review, and an annual summary assessment of how the previous year has gone and how it might have gone better. These appointments with yourself would need to be deliberate and not ignored. Good habits for med school, I think.

I recall reading that after studying success rates among college graduates, a group found that the only students to achieve success in life were those who had a plan and followed through with it. Unfortunately, it only amounted to 5% of all graduates. Rather telling, if I am remembering correctly. So, in looking back at our performance and then assessing how we might create a vision of the future, we might actually have a chance at arriving there. Otherwise, it seems we will only stir the pot and never dish any soup out. Heck of a way to starve with all that soup at your fingertips…

Goosfraba, baby

Was talking to some new students at a picnic last night. Had some thoughts.

We came to school to get some things wrong. In a place like this, we have the opportunity to get things wrong without actually hurting anyone. As we get things wrong, we learn to get them right. So, don’t beat yourself up for making mistakes, even if other people do beat you up. Just keep trying. And, maybe even relax a bit and enjoy the ride. Then, maybe, when people really need you, you will truly be there for them, and they will be safe.

When you are then in a position to help others through their mistakes, remember that a kind word and encouragement is what got you through the first grade. The reasoning still applies.

To Consume or Commune?

It seems to me that one of the defining continuums upon which we reside is the one in which we either live to consume or live to commune. The former defines a person who devotes energy to survival and to taking any good or service deemed to have value in creating a better moment or in adding comfort or in increasing the likelihood of another day. They are existential in that they must choose what they do with themselves, and they have chosen their own needs over the needs of others. Any connection to others is only to further personal ends. The latter, in contrast, devotes energy to connecting with something outside of themselves. They are primarily concerned with developing relationships and considering a possible existence beyond the tangible, measurable, or perceivable. They are not dreamers in that they still attempt to sort out the how and the why of their connections, but they are convinced that these relationships and something beyond themselves must be of more import than they are as individuals.

We all, of course, live somewhere along the line. We all must take, and we all must consume to survive in this place, or relationships will never happen and any greater purpose will never be fulfilled. However, I am absolutely convinced we must all lift our eyes from the sweater we are knitting and climb Maslow’s hierarchy as soon as we are aware of our presence on the pyramid. We must find context and choose to allow our essential core to connect with the common source of our existence. We may do this by degrees, I think. First, as we meet others and come to realize we are all made of the same stuff. Then, as we pursue the origin of the stuff. Eventually, we realize that either we are accidental and that any pursuit was fruitless, or that we are not accidental, and we have no earthly idea as to why. Therein, I think, lies the beginning of wisdom.

My hope is that we all find our hearts. I hope we can connect, so we may be properly born into lives of purpose and, eventually, become wise. Not a bad goal. I'll keep trying.